What does it mean if your partner is not interested in sex?
It’s no secret that a lack of sex in a relationship can be damaging to a healthy and long-lasting partnership. Sex promotes intimacy—and there’s no denying the pleasure derived from its completion, not to mention the addition(s) to your family that can also result.
Of course, we are all human, and this means that between work, social, family, home, and financial obligations, one or both partners might not be interested in sex at the frequency they used to. Dry spells are natural, and do arise over time—and are fortunately resolved on their own in most cases.
Prolonged periods of little to no sexual activity however can be concerning, particularly if they’re seemingly unexplainable. This can lead to fears, insecurities, and in the worst-case scenario, dissolution of the relationship.
Determining the difference between a dry spell and deeper issues isn’t an exact science. It comes down to your and your partner’s ages, the length of the relationship, and what a normal pattern of sex looks like.
It is dangerous to attempt to make comparisons to others or “average” figures, as every individual, and thus, every relationship, is unique. However, if true tension exists, and one or both partners are losing confidence, action must be taken.
For men in particular, there are several common reasons that could be behind their lost interest in sex. These include but are not limited to:
- Low Libido
- Sexual Dysfunction
- Low Testosterone
- Porn Addiction
- Physical and Mental Health Challenges
- Relationship insecurity
- Alcoholism or Drug Abuse
1. Low Libido
Lowered libido is a natural change men encounter as they age.
It manifests not only as a decreased desire for sex, but also for other formerly pleasurable pursuits. There is rarely one root cause of lowered libido, which can make it difficult to treat. Reasons could range from a buildup of stress, hormonal imbalances, or even a newly prescribed medication.
A full physical exam provided by a physician, and possible screening for mental health are the required first steps for treating low libido.
2. Sexual Dysfunction
Men’s bodies can sometimes betray them in unexpected and embarrassing ways.
This can result in a seemingly unexplained distance and lack of sexual activity. Encouraging a supportive and honest conversation between partners, followed by a trip to a trusted medical professional, can help forge a path toward treatment.
3. Low Testosterone
Past the age of 30, testosterone production begins to wane. However, in addition to age, health habits, diet, and each man’s natural genetic makeup all contribute to the potential for low T. One of the most distressing results of these factors is a seeming loss of sex drive.
Treatment typically comes in the form of Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT), stress management techniques, and mental health counseling.
4. Pornography Addiction
Pornography is readily available through computers and smartphones, and its proliferation has made it possible for men to overload on this form of stimulation. Research indicates that men who consumed pornography constantly reported less sexual satisfaction in their relationships. Much of this is due to the idealized and fantastical nature of pornography—and that inherent disconnect from reality.
This addiction can lead to men relying on it, rather than their partners, to fulfill their sexual desires. Treatment requires direct conversations and likely the solicitation of an experienced sex therapist.
5. Physical and Mental Health
Lack of sex in a relationship can also be an indicator of larger physical and mental health concerns.
Diabetes, prostate cancer, and heart disease all share loss of sexual desire as a symptom.
While lessened sexual appetite isn’t always associated with these ailments, it could be a clue to seek out a trusted medical professional for the proper screenings.
In addition, a partner uninterested in sex may signal mental health challenges such as being overstressed, or even depression. The brain has a direct impact on arousal and the secretion of sex hormones, so men should be encouraged to undergo individual or couples therapy in order to determine its potential role.
6. Relationship Insecurity
While it may not seem obvious, men also crave validation in their relationships—both from a physical and emotional perspective.
Anger, frustration, and distance outside the bedroom can result in lowered sexual desire.
Not receiving enough physical affection in the form of hand holding, kisses, and hugs can also result in this decline. Additionally, weight gain and a loss of confidence in appearance, or a monotonous routine—even if it includes sex—can mean a loss of interest.
Having a conversation, or several, about attraction and how to mix things up a bit, as well as couple therapy, can help resolve these insecurities.
7. Alcoholism or Drug Abuse
Outside substances can quite literally depress sexual desire and performance. After all, alcohol is a nervous system depressant. It also can have a detrimental effect on the circulatory system, directly leading to ED.
Keeping a close eye on the frequency of alcohol ingestion—as well as other drugs, including smoking cigarettes—can provide insight into whether or not this may be a cause behind intimacy issues.
No matter what the single or layered causes may be, consultation with a medical professional is always recommended to help diagnose and treat a lack of interest in sex. The medical professionals at Proactive Men’s Medical Center can help you live a healthier, happier life with fewer sexual problems. Give us a call today to chat through your unique issues.